CheezyOranges

Why is it so hard for people to wrap their heads around the fact that I DON’T want kids. Ever. NO MATTER WHAT.

Hi. I’m a Wow Addict.

Shortly after I met my boyfriend in 2005, I became more and more interested in online gaming. He would spend hours playing CounterStrike, and though I was not a huge fan of the online gaming scene, I was interested. I had heard about World of Warcraft, but had never played. He told me about his experiences playing in the beta and after release, but he had stopped playing some time before. So one day in early 2006, I went to the video game store and purchased a copy so we could both begin playing again.
I was currently enrolled in college at the time, and so I never had much time to absolutely dedicate myself to playing. At that point, I had just gotten a new job and most of my time was spent in class or at work, away from home and my computer. If I recall correctly, it took me the better part of that year to level my character to the higher levels. I’m sure I didn’t hit 60 before I had to cancel my account temporarily in August to finish my final semester at College and graduate in December 2006. During this time, my boyfriend was extremely active in his guild and raided almost every night. Unfortunately, that also meant he stayed up almost every night raiding, and we’d only really “see” each other between the time I got home from work and the time I went to bed. If we did anything, it was pressured for time because MC or BWL was more important. He was playing on the computer which *I brought home from work for him to play on.* It broke, and I fixed it, even though every night I would go to sleep alone hurt more and more. I enabled this, and thus enabled my own downfall into the WoW universe.
After graduation, I reactivated my account and played sparingly until the expansion was released. I finished leveling my character to 70, which was the new highest point. Somewhere between 60 and 70 I changed from my old server, a pvp server called Mal’Ganis (which incidentally is one of the best and most progressed servers out there, housing the ever-so-famous “Elitist Jerks” guild) and moved to the PvE server Undermine. Here I joined a raiding guild, something I had never experienced before. This guild quickly exploded, though. I had moved to the new server at the behest of my boyfriend, who had also moved his character to play on the same server as our upstairs neighbors. They got us into the guild that exploded, and after that expedited our acceptance to another, more progressed guild. This was sometime in May of 2007. My boyfriend was still playing almost every night, and I was getting desperate to do something together with him. We were living in the same house, but it felt like we were never seeing each other.
During the summer, I got a gym membership, began running, and attempted to diet. I was having great success, working every day, but not playing WoW every night or all that much. My boyfriend went to the gym with me, and it was really motivating, at first. In July, I accepted a new job which also came with a 40 minute commute. My boyfriend and I began carpooling from our apartment every morning. In September, I attended my first raid, and the downward spiral began.
It was easy enough, at first, to come home from work and, every other day or so, attend a raid. It meant I had to speed through dinner, or that we picked it up on the way home, but it worked. And it was only a few days a week. As our guild quickly progressed through higher content, we had our ups and downs - attendance became more important as the gear we were fighting for was getting better and better. It didn’t help that I was obsessed with being on time every night and trying to be the best I could be. This meant any delay in getting home shortened the time I had to make food for the two of us, or even eat food my boyfriend had prepared. The stress was mounting.
In October and November, we surmounted some huge hurdles by downing some extremely hard end-game bosses. Everything was looking up. We were still calling raid nights mostly on time, around 11:30 or so every night. Still, this only left me with 6 or 7 hours of sleep before I had to wake up and drive to work. One night I took off in November for my boyfriend’s birthday, I missed a HUGE upgrade for my character. I didn’t get over this. I played harder and more often then ever before.
Christmas and New Years holidays came around and everyone took a break from WoW. Suddenly, I had nothing to do. I moved to a new apartment.
For about 10 days, I came home from work, watched television, read books, and walked - something I hadn’t had time for once I began raiding. I had canceled my gym membership months before as I wasn’t using it. When I had to go back to raiding in January, the sharp contrast in free time was realized.
We continued to progress, and I could’ve played less if I wanted to but I was hooked and obsessed. Trying to be better than others in my class, I convinced myself I had to show up every day or else I would fall behind. For a while, this strategy worked. But then, bad luck and timing made me miss some really amazing upgrades. This made me even more obsessed. This continued, I saw people come and go, but the guild continued to make progress. We advanced into the absolute end game material, finally on the coat-tails of the best guilds on our server. It was absolutely enthralling.
In February we went up against a new boss and the night went sour. Tempers were hot, people were frustrated. It was a bad night. Several other events that week had everyone on edge with everybody else. Then we had some amazing boss-kills and the drama was pretty much just dropped. We’re killing each other then we’re all peachy. But tempers were still high and tolerance was thin.
One of our best and most seasoned raiders suddenly quit. In their farewell post, they listed their grievances - not enough sleep, the game was becoming more of a job then their real job, and they were beginning to feel the impact of it in their day to day life. It wasn’t fun anymore. I read this, and it was like a light came on inside. I realized I felt the exact same way.
It had gotten to a point where I would play until 1 or 2am almost every night. Then I would stay in bed as absolutely late as possible, and still show up to work 5 minutes or so late every morning. I would zone out at work until lunch, and then maybe I’d get some work done. There wasn’t much for me to do, so it wasn’t noticed, but I felt more and more miserable every day. Reading this raider’s post on our forums was like a revelation. I decided I had to make a decision.
I played for a week more, and on Tuesday I told my boyfriend what I planned to do. I couldn’t believe it had gotten to this point. For a time, I played only for the sake of doing something with him, since all his time was absorbed with raiding MC and BWL. But now I felt as if I had no time to myself and even less time to spend with him. I was a slave to my computer, sitting in front of one all day at work, only to come home, scramble for some form of food and spend the rest of the evening sitting in front of my computer at home. I played out the week’s raids. I didn’t get any new gear; I tried to see the fun in it. We did well that week. No new accomplishments, but we breezed through most of the stuff we knew. But on Friday, I said “Alright guys, see ya” and I haven’t logged on since.
I can’t say I haven’t been bored at times, but I’ve finished a few books, walked more than I have in a year and actually enjoyed being alone and playing with my cat, who I had been mostly ignoring when at home because I was busy with the computer. My cat is acting more normal and loving, and I’m hoping to lose some weight by walking more often. If anything it gives me time to evaluate my day and listen to some audio books on my ipod.
Was playing WoW a bad decision? No. I met some really cool and interesting people. I don’t think I’ll ever forget some of the fun nights we had killing virtual monsters. The fun comes from the social aspect of the game, and it was something I will never forget. But when it got to be too much and when it began affecting my real life, my job, I’m glad I made the decision to quit. I’m a Wow Addict and I haven’t logged on in 19 days.